This is what makes us amazing, our only downfall is that we put ourselves dead last.
We forget to take care of ourselves, we don’t buy new clothes because the kids need clothes, we don’t sleep a full night because a little one is sick and needs us, we don’t eat properly because we are fighting to get food into our children, a lot of times our dinner is the leftovers on their plates. We do this because we have a love that is indescribable, but we forget to love ourselves.
We put ourselves dead last on our list of priorities and we really should be at the top of the list.
A ship can’t sail without its captain. Right??!!
I struggled with this; so much, as I’m sure so many other moms do as well. It’s a mental game. We need to first sort out our minds, forgive ourselves for letting ourselves get lost, and learn to love ourselves enough and remember that we are worthy of time, time to work out, time to eat properly, time for me.
What is necessary is to have a goal and a plan of execution.
We need to think out a lot of stuff.
I struggled a lot in the beginning with finding a balance.
How in the world was I going to do this with 3 kids a full time job and a husband? It was overwhelming. I did the best I thought I knew how, I went shopping for all my new foods, got myself some weight equipment and dusted off my workout dvd’s.
I still felt lost, guilty, and confused. How was I going to make this work? I would take a few steps forward to only feel guilty and then take many steps back. I couldn’t justify taking time for myself, I felt like a bad mom. . It became frustrating, I was angry at myself often for not understanding why I couldn’t just do it.
I learned many things from this back and forth process, the biggest one being, it wasn’t working.
To make this work, I had to write everything down, break my day up, meal by meal, water intake, and schedule my workout time. I also had to condition my mind to believe that I AM WORTHY of my time. At the end of the day I am no good to my family who depends on me so much if I am not physically and mentally well. Again, most of us are the captains of our ship.
So I got myself a binder and a pen, (I am a pen to paper kind of girl). I wrote down everything, what I had to eat and when I had to work out. Sure, with kids unexpected situations occur, and of course they happen right before you are going to start that workout, that’s where we need to be creative. Have a backup plan, and when a backup plan doesn’t work, then forgive yourself for the missed workout, and move on, tomorrow is another day to get it right.
What I have learned in these last couple of years is that the guilt never really goes completely away, but, I stick to my schedule and when I have to change it then I do. The kids will always need us, but they need us to be healthy, and fit, in body and mind. We are better moms when we can teach our children all the lessons that they learn from watching us make better choices. It’s a win-win situation. Most days I work out with my 5 year old dancing around me and the best part is when she joins in. I have learned how to work out and scream at kids all at the same time (multitasking LOL) I don’t let it stress me out and I now believe that the time I give myself everyday betters me and them. I have more energy, more patience, my self-confidence is back, and my self-esteem is up. These gifts and lessons I am teaching my children by example make the guilt less.
So be patient and kind with yourself, know that you are worth it, believe in yourself, and reach for the stars, show yourself and your children that you are important and worthy of your time. The whole family benefits from a mom that is physically and mentally healthy.
Go after your goals, it may take us moms longer to reach them, but heck, the journey is great and the benefits are over the moon.
Love yourself. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
Be Patient, Be kind, Believe.